Last summer, I was given the opportunity to reflect on how I walk my
little journey in life. I am truly grateful for the many occasions I can
step back, look at the whole picture, and see the amazing plan thought
out for each one of us, despite the difficulties.
As I write these lines, I count
myself wonderfully blessed and compelled to share about my own pain and
suffering transformed into beauty. Perhaps I must share bits and pieces
of my own little way, as a means to help others persevere and love in any
My mother passed away during a
tragic accident ten years ago. The night we found ourselves in front
of her laying body; covered by a blanket, behind a yellow line, is one
to bring tears to my eyes when vividly described. Sometime I will get to
share the many details of that particular night; filled with depth and
even hidden beauty.
This time though, my pen brings me to the
part when funeral arrangements were to be made. I remember myself
discussing arrangements for her cremated body to be buried. Something
felt inappropriate about how the topic was handled. I doubted the
dignity with which the loss of my beloved mother was handled by the
callous personality of those who dealt with death on a daily basis.
I found myself troubled by the circumstances, I received a phone call
from one of my sisters. I was told of my mother's words not too long
before her accident. She had expressed the wish to have her body
cremated and spread throughout a field of flowers. I could not think of a
more fitting way to honor her, so I excused myself from the funeral
home and began the arrangements to fulfill her wishes.
consulted with a few Theologians on the topic of burial and faith. When
given an answer in regards to the specific situation, we embarked on our
journey to find the perfect spot.
Once there, my siblings
and I concluded it would be a good idea to take turns carrying the
ashes on our way to the flower field. It was during that moment, when I
remembered telling my mother a few yeas back, how I would take care of
her as an elderly person. I told her I would push her wheelchair, as she
once pushed my stroller. Unfortunately, she died before this would
happen; yet, I found myself holding her entire body within my arms. I
realized how I was given the opportunity to embrace her, just as she
embraced me as a baby.
Life has many turns and road forks; but, we can always find something wise and beautiful within its many moments.
I could fill an entire book with them, but for now, I leave you with this little bit of my journey.....