As I write these lines, I ponder about the recent tragedy in Newton, CT and I turn to prayer for healing and acceptance for all families involved.
Tragedy seems to hit unannounced; leaving us speechless before a sad reality and a broken world. I cannot fathom the pain of all mothers who have lost their precious children and the sadness that surrounds this community. I cannot therefore help, but unite to their pain and be part of the healing process.
There is truly a lack of words for what could be beautiful in their lives right now, but we must not forget that even amidst tragedy and suffering, one can experience a tremendous amount of grace.
I had intended to share a piece of my own suffering several months ago, but somehow I hesitated with the thought that perhaps it was too sad and I opted for sharing happier moments. Today I have a different perspective, as once again I am left with the fact that suffering is a human reality and that any light I might be able to shed from my own experience is noble in itself.
As much as I understand that each circumstance and tragedy is unique, I believe that pain is a universal reality. While things will never be the same and it will take a long time for families to heal, I hope the below story brings a ray of hope to many............
Last summer, I was given the opportunity to reflect on how I walk my little journey in life. I am truly grateful for the many occasions I can step back, look at the whole picture, and see the amazing plan thought out for each one of us, despite the difficulties.
As I write these lines, I count myself wonderfully blessed and compelled to share about my own pain and suffering transformed into beauty. Perhaps I must share bits and pieces of my own little way, as a means to help others persevere and love in any circumstance.......
My mother passed away during a tragic accident ten years ago. The night we found ourselves in front of her laying body; covered by a blanket, behind a yellow line, is one to bring tears to my eyes when vividly described. Sometime I will get to share the many details of that particular night; filled with depth and even hidden beauty.
This time though, my pen brings me to the part when funeral arrangements were to be made. I remember myself discussing arrangements for her cremated body to be buried. Something felt inappropriate about how the topic was handled. I doubted the dignity with which the loss of my beloved mother was handled by the callous personality of those who dealt with death on a daily basis.
As I found myself troubled by the circumstances, I received a phone call from one of my sisters. I was told of my mother's words not too long before her accident. She had expressed the wish to have her body cremated and spread throughout a field of flowers. I could not think of a more fitting way to honor her, so I excused myself from the funeral home and began the arrangements to fulfill her wishes.
We consulted with a few Theologians on the topic of burial and faith. When given an answer in regards to the specific situation, we embarked on our journey to find the perfect spot.
Once there, my siblings and I concluded it would be a good idea to take turns carrying the ashes on our way to the flower field. It was during that moment, when I remembered telling my mother a few yeas back, how I would take care of her as an elderly person. I told her I would push her wheelchair, as she once pushed my stroller. Unfortunately, she died before this would happen; yet, I found myself holding her entire body within my arms. I realized how I was given the opportunity to embrace her, just as she embraced me as a baby.
Life has many turns and road forks; but, we can always find something wise and beautiful within its many moments.
I could fill an entire book with them, but for now, I leave you with this little bit of my journey.....